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Friends only

                                                                                          

So after some thought, I've decided to make this journal Friends Only.... Should you be a friend,consider yourself honored.  I'm willing to add new friends, and love getting to know new people.  However, it seems I must censor my posts from prying eyes.  Posts, for the most part, will now be friends-only.
Comment here if you want an add......
               
SCHOOL'S OUT!!! Yippee!! Can ya tell I'm excited yet?! I was offically done on Tuesday at 7:15. It was such a great feeling walking out of that classroom knowing I was done until August. It was so great getting up this morning & knowing I did NOT have to go to school. I had to get up at 8 to move my car for my mom, then had a hair appointment at 9, baked a cake for my boss after that, then sat down & watched 3 episodes of One Tree Hill: Season 1. It's so great finally catching up with all the history that I've missed!! It's amazing the things you can get done when you don't sleep the day away. Plus I even had time to go to the library to pick up a book they were holding for me and get my car washed! All before I had to come into work.

I'm so glad to be done with school now. I'll actually have free time during the weekdays. I'm especially going to love Tuesdays. That'll be my one day off during the week that I don't have to work at all. But, I guess my mom took all of next week off from work because she gets tons of vacation. She's not doing anything or going anywhere so I'm going to have her around the house during the day. Oh well, what can I do about it?

Oh and I'm so FREAKING excited!!! BRETT FAVRE IS COMING BACK FOR ANOTHER YEAR. Yeah, I know, nobody cares. Oh well, I'm just stoked that I get to see him for another season!! I have decided that come hell or high water, I WILL be at the Packers/Lions game on Sept. 24. I've got to see the man before he retires! But my sis said last night that she'll go to the game with me. YEAH!!

Okay, that's all for now. Peace:-)

Man, I cannot wait until tomorrow is done & over with.  I've got three freakin' exams.  10:30, 12:30, & 6:30.  I've studied for the first two but haven't done anything yet for the last one.  I'll get to that in a few minutes, but I thought I'd give an update first.

So not a whole lot has been going on.  I should have done more studying this weekend but oh well.  What can ya do?  I spent nearly the whole thing at my sis's again.  It just seems normal that I should be over there all weekend, every weekend.  It's cool.  We all seem to feel wrong & out of place when we don't get together to play cards like we do!  I was there Friday evening, then Saturday after going to dinner with Crystal & Andre I went back over.  I didn't leave her place until almost 3 Sunday morning.  We were playing cards & then we got to text-messaging JJ and had a blast.  He finally sent me a picture of him!!  It's not the greatest picture, but at least I can see what the guy looks like again.  I think I was starting to forget what he looks like cuz it's been so damn long.  But then I ended up calling him after we were done playing cards & talked to him for another 15 minutes or so.  Robin & I are trying to convince him to drive up here in July to go to Ozzfest with us.  GOd, that would be so much fun!  Not to mention the fact that I would just love to see the guy again!  But he says that he really wants to come up here.  So I really hope he does.  Then yesterday I got up & went back to B&N to get more studying done.  Ended up picking up a book & started reading that rather than studying.  I ended up calling Robin to see what they were doing & she wanted me to come over again, so I ditched the books & went back over there.  But I actually got a phone call yesterday that shocked the hell outta me.  Actually it was a two-way, not phone call but still.  It was from John.  Hadn't talked to the guy for two weeks & now he's calling again!  WTF?!!?  He even said something about thinking he had done something to tick me off.  I'm like, No, but maybe he should have called sooner!!  I didn't have a single thing to say to the guy, so finally I just said that I was needed in the kitchen cuz we were cooking lunch.  And that was it!  So I guess it's up to me to call him now, but I really don't want to.  It wouldn't hurt me too badly if we didn't talk anymore.  I just hate being the one to say it, ya know?  Oh well, I'll figure out something sooner or later.

JJ sent me a text this morning that was super sweet.  I wasn't even out of bed yet, my alarm wasn't due to go off for another half hour.  He just wanted to say good morning, hope i have a good day & that he'll call me later.  It was just so sweet that he took the time to say good morning, ya know?  It was a great wake-up call.

Well, I suppose I should get to studying for my econ exam.  I really shouldn't leave that until tomorrow.

Peace:-)

  The pic of JJ:-D

Suicide's not the answer....

I just don't get it.  Why do people think that suicide will solve all the problems?  It only leaves those you leave behind with questions, WHY???  What were you going through that you couldn't handle?  And why didn't you come talk to me?

I found out today that a guy my sister used to work with shot himself over the weekend.  I knew him just from stopping in to see Robin and he'd be there.  I thought he was very good looking.  He was someone I would have liked to hook up with, but knew he'd never go for me.  Apparently he'd been with his girlfriend for 7+ years.  He was even an active marine.  Robin said he'd been over to the war, so maybe that had something to do with it.  He just couldn't adjust back to way of life or something.  I don't know, but his best fried watched him pull the trigger.  Damn, that is something I could never get over if I was him.  I'd be a basketcase.

Thinking about all of this just takes me back to Jolie's funeral.  I was in complete shock when I heard about her.  And then going to the funeral that evening was something I don't ever want to experience again.  Nobody was saying a word.  Most funerals I've been to, people are milling around, talking about all the stories they remember of the person or catching up with friends & family you haven't seen in ages.  But that evening everyone was sitting in the chairs set up in the parlor, not saying a word.  The only noises you heard was Jolie's little brother playing on the floor because he was too young ton understand what was going on.  I just remember thinking that we should NOT have been there.  That was NOT something we should be at.  People are NOT supposed to take their own lives.  Jolie just always seemed to be in a great mood - I guess you'll just never know what's going through a person's mind that they don't share with others.  

Now, sitting here thinking about Josh has brought back all kinds of feelings from Jolie's funeral (or showing, I guess it was).  I'm just feeling all these emotions again, surprised that the tears are forming again, 7+ months later.  It just leaves me confused as to why someone thinks they can solve their problems by taking their own life.  I know I've experienced quite a few extremely low points in my life, but I cannot say that suicide was ever considered.  I could never do that to my family and friends.  

It also makes me realize that I do not tell my loved ones just how much I love them very often.  Everyone is special to me in their own, unique way and I don't say often enough just how special I feel because they've allowed ME to be a part of THEIR life.  I want to make a promise to each and every family member and friend, if I ever feel down and out about something, ANYTHING, that I will come to you.  I will ask you for help, even if it's a shoulder to lean on, someone to voice my issues to.  I do NOT want leave anyone behind, questioning themselves whether they could have done more.  

And I beg of you - DON'T EVER CONSIDER SUICIDE.  It's not the answer.  It only leaves sadness, anger, frustration, agony, and hurtfullness.

May Jolie and Josh rest in peace - you're problems are over now.  I hope you are finally at peace.  May God rest your souls.

cuz i'm bored

Apr. 13th, 2006

OMG, I'm so excited!  I finally got to hear from JJ.  Robin called me Tuesday evening telling me that she got a phone call from NC and that he had his own phone now.  YIPPEE.  I can finally call the guy whenever I want!!!  I talked to him that evning for, like, 40 minutes.  It was so great.  I absolutely love hearing his voice!!  God, I've missed him so much.  It really feels like we're so far apart, especially when I can't talk to the guy.  But now that I've got a way that I can get ahold of him, I feel like we're a little bit closer.  He's just a phone call away now:-D  So I've been floating on a complete high ever since Tuesday night.  That was absolutely the best part about that day, besides getting a mani/pedi:-)  That was the most relaxing thing I've done in a REALLY long time.  Then that evening wasn't so great when I went to econ, ready to do my presentation, when this chick decided that she now wants to do her part in the presentation.  So we had to meet last night, she, of course, was 15 minutes late.  So instead of getting to hang out at Robin's house like I enjoy doing on my one evening a week that I don't have school or work, I had to come to the flippin' lab.  Oh well, we're done now and we were able to add quite a bit more.  

But Robin & I are now trying to convice JJ to come visit us in July, so he can come along to OZZFEST.  Seeing as how things are not going so great with John, I want to take someone else.  I'd really like to invite someone I want there, rather than Robin or Jamie finding someone.  So it would be absolutely fantastic if JJ could come to town, even if only for a couple days to go to the concert.  We all would have a fabulous time!!

I'm so ready for school to be done and over with.  I'm ready to start my summer vacay.  But I've only got two more class sessions for two of my classes & one more for my other class and then just my exams for all three classes.  God, I can't wait for it all to be done & over with.


Why do I even try anymore? Apparently sleep is more important than me....

I just tried calling John. I've barely even talked to the guy lately. I guess it's been more than a week since I've realized that things aren't as great as I may have thought. Last Friday, he decided to stay home and sleep instead of seeing me, so I made other plans. Then last Sunday we were supposed to get together, but I ended up having to take Mom into the hospital and we couldn't even get together for a little while after that all got settled. Then I talked to the guy for a few minutes this past week, nothing too great. Then we talked for a few minutes Friday morning while I was getting ready for work. Nothing was mentioned in the conversation about getting together. Plus, I wasn't in the mood for driving all the way out to his place when he hasn't been to Saginaw since the hockey game we went to how long ago? I decided that if anything was mentioned about getting together that evening that I was going to get him to come to Saginaw, rather than me drive out there. Well, as I said, nothing was even mentioned about doing anything. So I made plans to go to my sister's house. And I also decided that if he called, I'd probably not even answer my phone. Well, I didn't have to worry about that, he never called. So he worked yesterday so I knew I wouldn't talk to him at all then. But I just tried to call him. I'm sitting in the computer lab working on a project and needed to clear my head for a minute so I stepped outside. I figured I'd call him, talk for a few minutes, see if we can actually have a conversation. Well, apparantly, I woke him up. Instead of actually talking to me, he's all like, can I call you back later?

Whatever! I'm getting really sick of feeling like I'm not important to the guy. I'm sorry, but we've only been dating for, what, a month maybe! And already he doesn't want to do anything. And here he said he's not afraid of making any committments. Well, apparently he doesn't even know how to COMMUNICATE. I've already decided I'd just pay my sister for the OZZFEST ticket and not even worry about asking him for the money. That way if we go our separate ways (which it looks like we are) I won't have to give him his money back. I'll just find someone else to take to the concert.

Okay, sorry, I just really needed to bitch for a second. God, I'm so ready to experience a different group of guys!! As in, guys that don't live in Michigan. Which means that I'm ready to experience life outside of lovely Saginaw, Mich. There's so much to this world! Why must I stick to Saginaw?!?!? Which, as soon as I graduate, I would really love to see about moving away from here. I'm sick of it!!!!

32 credits left... and counting...

So I just spoke with a counselor about my credits. It turns out that I have a TON of wasted credits. There were numerous generel ed courses that I took at Delta that only transferred as credits, basically. I can't believe I got so freaking screwed up. No wonder its taking me SO FREAKIN LONG TO GET DONE. Okay. I think I'm done screaming now. That just really aggravated me. Now to the good news. I will be done with my degree in 32 CREDITS! YIPPEE! Now I just have to decide how to take those credits. There are two classes that I cannot take yet. One, I'll be taking the prereq this fall. The other class says to take it your last semester (or something to that effect). So I was just looking at the classes I need yet. I have a 2-credit class and then some 3-credit classes. So it's not really dividing up evenly. But if I wanted to get done in two semesters, I'd have to take two semesters with 16 credits each. And looking at the fall semester, the way the credits are, sticking to the 16-per-semester thing, I would end up taking FIVE classes. Ouch! So now I have to decide, do I want to get done in the next year, in the mean time having breakdowns because I overloaded myself, or do I want to strecth it out to a third semester? That would be okay. It's better than needing 45 more credits (or whatever it turned out to be for the accounting part). I don't know. I'm just so ready to be DONE. I can see the end is nearing, yet it still seems so far away. I really wish I had money to take a spring or summer course, then I wouldn't have to worry about whether I'd be overloading myself.

Ahhh, oh well! I'll figure out soon. Especially since I register tomorrow afternoon. Well I gotta go, I've got an exam in 23 minutes.

Peace:-D

My weekend.......

My weekend was okay.  Could certainly have been better but could have gone a LOT worse!  Friday night, John wasn't feeling good I guess so we didn't get together.  Instead I rented Hotel Rwanda because I'm going to have to deal with it in my management class tomorrow so I wanted to see it prior to class.  It was extremely sad and so horrific.  I really don't want to have to watch it again but at least I'll understand what's going on.  This time through will just be filling in holes from the first time of watching it.  Then, of course, I went to Robin's afterwards and her, me and her boyfriend Jamie played Rummicube (it's a really fun game).  Then Saturday was my normal workday - 10 to 4.  Then Crystal and I went to Target, where I purchased a new purse (cuz you can never have too many;-)), the movie The Day After Tomorrow, and some munchies mix.  Then her, Andre, and I went to see Failure to Launch! That movie was so freaking hilarious!  I absolutely loved that movie.  Then we all went to Friday's for dinner, where we ate so much food, but it was delicious.  Plus I got to see my really good friend, Bruce, whom I haven't seen in AGES!  It has been so long since we've seen each other.  It was weird too, because I was just wondering the other day whatever happened to him and if he was still in the area.

Then yesterday wasn't so great.  I was supposed to see John, but wasn't able to.  I got up at 11 (even though I wanted to get rolling around 10, but because I forgot about the damn time change it didn't go as planned).  So John called and we made plans to go to lunch and then see Larry the Cable Guy.  But when I got out of the shower my sister was there and it turned out we had to take my mom to the emergency care center, even though it wasn't such an emergency.  I guess she got pretty sick in the middle of the night Saturday night and decided to go in.  It turns out that she's got the beginnings of some infection.  Apparently she knew she was getting sick before it even happened.  So she got antibiotics.  By the time we were able to get out of there, it was too late to go out to John's because he was meeting friends later and plus I was supposed to be meeting someone from my econ class.  So I went to B&N to attempt to study for my 9-chapter business law exam that I've got tomorrow at 10:30.  At least I was able to get some study-time in here this evening while I'm sitting at work with unringing phones.

So I'm hoping I don't have to wait too long to see a counselor tomorrow.  I'm still deciding whether I want to go into school early tomorrow morning to see one or if I should just wait until after my exam, before I head off to management.  I'm thinking, though, that it may be better to go early because I could end up waiting FOREVER the later I go in.  So nothing TOO exciting is going on in my life.  I'm still waiting to see whether Brett Favre is going to be playing next season or not.  God, I'm hoping he will, but it's really hard to guess what he'll do.  I'm thinking that even HE doesn't even know what he'll be doing next fall.

GRRR, I'm so sick of waiting for that decision!!!

Oh well, what can ya do!  Except get ready to go home:-)  Finally, I get to leave in about 10 minutes.  I'm so ready to go home & throw on my PJs and crawl into bed with my remote control..........

Just beyond the horizon......

I'm super-excited!!  I was talking with someone at work the other day who just recently graduated with a degree in general business.  So I have done some thinking and calculating.  I figured out that if I continue going for a degree in accounting, that it would take me another 50-some more credits.  That would also give me a minor in management.  Well, that's like another two full years.  But if I go in the direction of a degree in general business, it would only take a mere 31 more credits!!!  That's only two SEMESTERS rather than YEARS!  So I'm going to see a counselor on Tuesday to make sure that I've been looking at all of this accurately.  Then I register on Wednesday for the fall semester.  That would be so freakin' awesome if I can graduate after next winter rather than waiting another two  years.  

But my mom had to go and try to ruin my excitement.  She was asking me what I would want to do with my degree and will it give me what I want out of it.  Well I just flat out told her that I would really like to just work my way up in the dealership.  I mean, I've got such a great start, and in a great company, that why should I start all over again?  Like, she's asking me if I've done any research about what I could really do with the general business degree and how much money I could make with it.  I just came right and said that I'm really happy where I'm at right now, I love working in a dealership, and why should I leave it.  I also just told her that I'm looking to see that it's more important for me to be happy with what I'm doing rather than the almighty dollar sign.  I could seriously see myself being in my manager's position.  And I've flat out told Kim that too.  Of course, it could take some time before I get to that ability, but that's where I want to end up at.  I don't care how much money I'm making, as long as I can be happy with what I'm doing.  Yeah, it would be nice to have all the money in the world to support my shopping habit, but what can ya do?  I cannot live my life only working towards the money!

I just want to get done with school and get on with my life!  I'm sick of having that so-called part time position at work.  Leigh made some comment awhile back about her being the full-timer and me being the part-timer.  I believe that there is not much difference in our positions.  Just the whole full vs part time thing.  That seriously bugged me the other day when she said that.  Her position would have been MINE had it not been for my being in school.  Kim told me one day!  She would have loved to give me that position but that she needs someone there between 8-5 all week long.  So for Leigh to make some comment like that, just pissed me off.  Not no mention the fact that I believe that I'm better at our job than Leigh is.  I know my shit a lot better than her.  And today she really aggravated me!  One of our sales guys came in today saying that if a position opened up at work that was a $15 per hour job to let him know because his wife wants out of her job.  He was only joking because obviously there's no such thing in that place.  And I was just like, if a job opened up like that, I would go for it, meaning that his wife wouldn't have a chance, also joking.  Leigh had to speak up saying, no I would be going for it.  Like she's fighting to take over a job that doesn't even exist!  Come on!!  

Okay, I think I'm done bitching now.  I'm just excited about my school!  I cannot wait to see someone next week to make sure that I've figured it all out correctly!  I think I'm gonna go see about getting some grub then go rent a movie.

Peace:-)